We all have choices to make...

[governmentninja]

Now that Leon knew he'd have a place with the STARS team, as a liaison for STRATCOM, he wasn't sure if that would make talking to Claire about her joining STARS easier, or more difficult. This is the first time that work has been an issue, or at least a major factor, for them. Not that he would be her boss, but he didn't want her to think that this was some kind of recruiting drive on his part.

He figured he was being silly, though. He knew Claire, but more importantly, Claire knew him. She would know he wouldn't push her into something like this.

He also knew why she was hesitating. She had her reasons, all of which were very good reasons not to join. He truthfully didn't know what to tell her, but he didn't need to know. He wasn't there to talk so much as to listen.

Of course, to talk or listen, he'd actually have to find Claire, so he set out to look for her.

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[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

Claire was out at the end of the dock. She had a beach umbrella, a book, and a pitcher of iced tea with her. The book was lying open on the dock next to her ignored, as she looked out across the water.

It helped her think.

[governmentninja]

When he spotted her, he went out to join her. He sat down next to her, but didn't say anything. He didn't want to interrupt her thinking, and when she was ready to talk, she'll talk. Until then, he'd just stay by her side and quietly enjoy the view.

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

She actually wasn't thinking about STARS at all, at that particular moment in time. She was just retracing her steps.

When Leon sat down, Claire stayed in her previous position for a few minutes, then spun around on her stomach, turned over, and lay down with her head in his lap.

She returned her attention to the distant horizon.

...and then I decided I wanted to help Jim...

Sometimes, she has to sit down and figure out where all this came from.

[governmentninja]

He smiled down at her when she laid her head in his lap. He took a moment to run a hand through her hair, something that was becoming a habit during these quiet moments of theirs. He still hadn't said anything, but he was ok with the silence.

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

She finally spoke about ten minutes later.

"How easy would it be to get out, once I joined? STARS, I mean. The whole SOCOM thing."

[governmentninja]

He thought about that for a moment.

"You can resign any time you want to. At most, they may make you sign a confidentiality agreement, but no one would hold you there if you didn't want to be there.

"But I can tell you that letting go of that kind of work, and that kind of life isn't exactly easy." There was a shrug. "For some people, at least."

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

"It's not so much that I can't let go of things, as that they can't let go of me," Claire said, almost to herself.

"I can't walk away; I don't want to fight. Catch 22."

[governmentninja]

He mulled over that response for a moment.

"Is it really that you can't walk away, or that you don't want to?" He was kind of thinking out loud as he talked.

"I mean, you already did the one thing you set out to do when this mess started for us. You found Chris.

"So, with that goal long since accomplished, what's keeping you from staying here? What piece of unfinished business don't you want to walk away from?"

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

"Can't," she said, almost immediately. "Almost all of my friends are in it, somehow. All my family. The guy I love. My kid. The only way to get all the way away from it all would be to move far, far away. Start a new life. Become someone else."

Claire closed her eyes for a second, then opened them again.

"I kind of tried once, too. The move to Manhattan and all that. But all the old business came looking, just the same. It'll keep coming, one way or another, until it gets finished."

[governmentninja]

Leon frowned a bit, but only for a brief moment. While, yeah, he was pulled into this like everyone else, he took this upon himself to be his mission. Part of the reason he did want to be a cop to begin with was so that people who wanted to live normal lives could. That Claire couldn't live the life she wanted, in part because of him, hurt a little.

But this wasn't about him.

"But none of that means that you have to be on the front lines with STARS and SOCOM." He shrugged "That could be my foolish optimism talking, but you should have more options in this other than 'all' or 'nothing'."

Now, he just had to figure out what those options were...

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

"It's Wesker," Claire said, after a second. "Any line's the front line. Being involved at all is everything.

"It's gonna be dirty, sick, sad, and bloody, and if I try to stay out of it, it'll be worse when it happens. The best thing I can do is jump in with both feet, accept the good parts of it, and hope I tip some kind of balance."

She hoisted herself up a little so her elbows rested on his knees, and the back of her head rested against his solar plexus.

"I still can't believe this is my life now, that these are the kinds of decisions I'm being asked to make. If this is how it is, though, I can't afford to hold back. Not anymore."

[governmentninja]

He rubbed her shoulders a little bit and let his hands rest there for a bit.

"Sounds like you made your decision." Well, more like it was made for her...

He leaned back some, propping himself up on his elbows. He was quiet for a little while, thinking about all of this.

"You know, life won't always be like this." He looked at her, then back out at the water. "It's one of a long list of things we're fighting for in all of this; that we won't have to make these choices one day."

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," she said. "I was fighting just to stay alive... and then I was fighting to find Chris. Sometimes I think I was fighting to find you and Sherry, too, even if I didn't know it at the time.

"Now... I guess it's just to end the whole damn thing, one way or another."

[governmentninja]

He thought about that for a second.

"Those are all good things to fight for, you know."

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

"That's about all that keeps me going, at times," she said after thinking about it. "I have reasons."

[governmentninja]

He once again brought up a hand to run through her hair.

"As strange as it sounds, though, I still think it's better than having nothing in your life that's worth fighting for."

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

She leaned back into his hand. Claire could probably be half-dead from blood loss and she'd respond positively to Leon stroking her hair.

"I've got so many things to fight for I sometimes lose track. It's not fighting for things that bugs me. It's having to fight at all."

[governmentninja]

"I can understand that. It's an ugly thing... but it's still a less worse option than doing nothing." He shrugged a little, but continued to stroke her hair. "But at least you know you'll have people you can count on right there with you."

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," Claire said. "Everything's actually working out pretty nicely, except having to do any of it at all."

[governmentninja]

There really wasn't much he could say to that. So he didn't say anything at all for a while. He just lazily continued to run his hand through her hair as he looked at the water.

"You'll make it through this, you know", he started, to finally break the silence, "and you'll come out of this alright."