Lost...

[governmentninja]

He didn't want to leave Claire alone, again, but he had to. Things needed to be done, Sherry and Molly needed to be taken care of, he had to go to work. At the least, he was confident that he convinced her to Not Do Something Stupid, at least for the immediate future. But what now, though?

He almost didn't want to see her again. Every time he thought about the current situation, there was this constant pit of dread in his stomach. When his father died, his mother and his sisters began to push him out of their lives. He never could understand why they did that, or what it was that he did that drove them to that. It never made any sense to him. Now, with Claire, it was like the same thing was happening all over again. She was convinced that she lost Chris, and now, for whatever reason, she was pulling away from him. Sure, she never said it, but he could feel her slipping away. Little by little he was losing her, and he knew he'd break if he lost her.

If it were damn near anyone else in any kind of situation, he was virtually unbreakable. When it came to her, though, he had no defense against her. She could always see right through him. There was no hiding from her, and no lying to her. She was the only person alive who could destroy him heart and soul, hurt him in ways no one else could even come close to... and up until now, he was ok with that.

He trusted her, completely, without question. He didn't care that she could break him, he knew she wouldn't.

Now? There was a question, and that terrified him in ways that no B.O.W. ever could. He'd rather go through a thousand Raccoon Cities than to lose her. He was scared of her, but even more importantly, he was scared for her. If she was willing to leave him, then what would she do next? He didn't want to know.

Worst of all, he had no idea how to stop her. No clue what to do, what to say... he was lost. He knew he couldn't avoid her, though. She may not be going anywhere right now, but if he gave her a long enough window, she'd leave.

So, he went to go look for her. He had to face this head on. If he was going to lose her, if this really was going to be the end, he wasn't going let it happen without a fight.

Comments

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

She isn't in Rebecca's apartment.

She's in Chris's.

Claire'd gone up to his place to borrow some clothes, since hers were in such a sorry state, and maybe predictably, just to be near something that reminded her of him.

Chris had never been the neatest person on the planet, and after about a month with no one in it, his apartment was a mess.

Right now she's wearing jeans and one of his T-shirts, which fits her like a tent, with a holstered pistol clipped to the back of her belt, washing dishes. It's nice. It's repetitive and distracting.

[governmentninja]

It didn't take him long to find her, since this was the first place he checked once he found out she left Becky's place. He stood outside the door for a moment, trying to avoid this for a few more moments get his head in order.

When he did enter, he noticed she had changed clothes, and was cleaning up the place. He wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not.

"Hey," He had to break the silence with something, "how're you feelin?"

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

She looked up briefly when he entered, then went back to rinsing the dishes.

"Oh, I'm turning cartwheels," she said, and immediately regretted it. Claire put a coffee mug upside down on the kitchen counter, on a dishtowel she'd spread out, then started scrubbing a plate.

She was never this neat, but somehow, this was calming.

[governmentninja]

He raised an eyebrow at that. "Yeah..." Well, sarcasm, that's more like her usual self.

Leon took a seat at the kitchen table and just watched her for a moment. Her shoulder didn't seem to be giving her too much trouble. "At least you're up and about."

He paused a beat. "So what's next?" He wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to hear the answer to that.

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

Good question.

Claire finished the dishes before answering it, then leaned down and took a bottle of bourbon from underneath the sink. She poured some into one of the glasses she'd just cleaned, added a little water from the tap, and took a drink.

"I get my head together, I guess. I get used to this."

[governmentninja]

Well, she accepted that Chris was gone... Leon was still foolishly optimistic about it. He wasn't going to bring that up though.

"Sounds like a good start. That mean you'll be coming home soon?" He stopped short of saying Sherry misses you. He wasn't going to guilt her into anything.

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

Claire drank some of the bourbon.

"And do what? Sit there and wait for somebody to kill someone else I love?"

She held up a hand and shook her head. "And I know Chris probably isn't dead. Becky told me. He's probably just mutiliated and infected with something and coming off a month of torture, so sure, that's better than being dead."

[governmentninja]

"You could do that, but laying there and taking it was never your style. That really leaves only two other options, you can either stand up and help put a stop to this once and for all, or you can run away and pretend to ignore everything." He wasn't going to demand to know 'which one' right then.

"Being dead would be 'easier', doesn't make it 'better'."

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

That wasn't the answer she was expecting by a damn sight.

"What the hell did you think I was doing? It sure as hell wasn't 'running away.'"

[governmentninja]

"While you were out there on your rampage? Yeah, you were running away." Leon wasn't yelling, yet. He had a great deal of patience and understanding... but it was far from infinite. "Did you stop for one second and think about what you were doing?" He didn't bother to let her answer.

"No, you didn't. You were too busy moving, too busy fighting, too busy running, excuse me, 'keeping up your personal velocity' to let yourself stop, think, feel, or deal with anything." He knew he was pushing things, but maybe they needed to be pushed. "You just grabbed your guns and bolted out the door without even so much as a fucking word to anyone for weeks! And--"

He was about to say something else, but bit that back. He wasn't happy with her about that, but lashing out wouldn't do any good. Instead he just took a breath and gave himself a moment to calm down.

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

She simply looked at him. No anger, no tears, no real reaction.

Claire finished the glass of bourbon, then set it down.

"I think you should leave now."

[governmentninja]

And that non-reaction stung. He almost grinned at the situation. Wasn't he supposed to be to level-headed, emotionally controlled one?

Only she could do this to him.

He just shook his head, "No". He wasn't going to leave. He watched her. He wasn't going to let her leave either. Not with this much unfinished business.

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

She watched him back, for a time.

When it became abundantly clear that he was not going to leave of his own violition, Claire refilled the glass of bourbon and walked into Chris's living room, then sat down. Photographs were spread across Chris's table, where she'd left them. Her parents, obviously, showing what Claire will look like at the age of forty, laughed their frozen way through a long-gone barbecue.

"I thought.

"I thought that at any moment, if I stayed there, I would have people beating down my door to give me sympathy and to try to make me feel better."

She sipped the bourbon.

"I'm not going to feel better. I'm going to sit here and drink some more and then I'm probably going to figure out some way to hurt Wesker, and I will keep hurting him until I have killed him, and then I will try to figure out a way to live with myself afterward.

"But I'm not going to feel better."

[governmentninja]

He followed her closely, not willing to let her out of his sight. Not until he saw the pictures. He focused on them for a moment, picking one up and looked at it. So that's what Claire looked like as a kid.

He placed the picture down on the table then sat next to her. "And is that really all you want out of the rest of your life? Revenge, then trying to piece your soul back together when you're done?"

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

"What I want doesn't matter. It never has. It probably never will."

She looked at him with that same empty expression.

"You were right, you know. Everyone who gets close to me, dies."

[governmentninja]

"What you want does matter. Especially to me."

He blinked at her. He'd never say something like that. "When the hell did I ever say something li--

"...

"...oh shit." He put his face in his hand as he remembered. That was right before the first time they slept with each other, oddly enough.

"Claire..." He stopped and rubbed his forehead. "...I wasn't right when I said that. I wasn't even in my right mind when I said that.

"I was wrong... completely and totally wrong."

He cupped her cheek with his hand. It was killing him to look in her eyes and see such emptiness. "I love you. More than anyone the world. I am close to you, so close that I'll fall apart if I don't have you in my life anymore.

"I'm still here. And I'll still be here, no matter what Wesker throws at me, what Saddler throws at me, or the next dumbass with big plans tries. I'll still be here, every single day 'til we're both old and gray."

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

Claire had been mentally gearing herself up for a conversation she didn't want to have. She had been preparing to tell him that she was better off alone, and maybe he should get used to not having her around...

...then he dropped that bomb.

"I... I--" She jerked back like his hand had carried an electric shock. "What're you saying...?"

[governmentninja]

What did she think he was talking about? Her reaction made him re-evaluate everything he just told her moments ago. And that's when he realized the full weight of his words. Did she think that he just-...

oh...

oh. my. god...

Outwardly, he was calm, but he was starting to freak out a bit internally. He hadn't meant to take things that far. Not that it was a bad thing, per se, just something he was wholly unprepared to tackle. Now that he was there, though, "Well..." what now? He had no idea how to deal with this.

O man...

"...uh... what I'm sayi--" A very loud crash interrupted them right then. It was followed by a loud roar and the sounds of more crashing.

"...the hell?" He went over to the window to investigate and... "There's a Tyrant at the front door..."

Leon actually breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of that thing, then shook his head a bit. He'd rather fight a BOW than talk to Claire right now. The tyrant was dangerous, and tearing up the place, but it was also something that'll stall their conversation for a few minutes. Besides, Leon needed something to shoot at, it'll help clear his head.

I may have to write Wesker a 'thank you' note...

...and he'll send it attached to the Tyrant's bullet riddled corpse.

"We'll continue this a little later. Where does Chris keep his guns?" Leon did show up to talk to Claire. He wasn't fully prepared to go head to head with a BOW.

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

Claire walked over to look out the window. "You've gotta be--"

She reached down and tied the T-shirt's hem in a knot, then pulled her hair back. "Gun safe's in the bedroom closet. Where the hell'd you put my belt...?"

Oh, that was it.

[governmentninja]

And within seconds, Leon was going through the safe. "What belt?", he shouted back as he loaded up one shot gun, then another. He picked up an M-16, slammed in a clip, and tossed it on the bed, and continued digging through as he muttered to himself.

"C'mon, Chris... tell me you have a god damn rocket launcher in here somewhere, man."

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

"My forcefield belt, the one with the strength thingy," Claire said, shrugging into her shoulder holsters. She was carrying her two Brownings, Hips's laser pistol, and the bizarre voltage gun she'd gotten from Ether.

Then she picked up one of the shotguns and racked the slide. "Yes."

[governmentninja]

"That's somewhere in Becky's place, along with the rest of the gear I took off you." By the time he was done, he had his 9mm, his .45, and his knife, all three of which had been in holsters in the small of his back. He also grabbed one of-- ......she's saying 'yes' because because she likes that shotgun... right?

...

He didn't have time to worry either way and took the other shot gun, and slung an M-16 over his shoulder.

No rockets, though.

"Tell me you have a rocket launcher or five stashed somewhere in the building."

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

"Sorry, I don't live here."

She paused for a second.

"You wouldn't believe what's stashed in that little cabin I bought, though. There was a Barrett light fifty in Umbrella's Dallas facility..."

[governmentninja]

"Best not tell Kevin, he'd kill to get his hands on a rifle like that." Leon made his way towards the door.

"How long would it take you to get some heavy artillery from the cabin, or from Eiko's armory?"

Judging from the noise outside, they'll need some serious firepower.

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

"Give me a PINpoint and a minute," Claire said, following him. "I had the rifle on standby in case I needed it."

She was planning to use it to ventilate Krauser, actually.

[governmentninja]

He held his out for her to take. "Use mine. I'll go hold the tyrant off."

[finalgirl.livejournal.com]

Claire took it. "Be right back."

A moment's hesitation. "Love you."

Then she's gone.

[governmentninja]

He smiled a bit, then headed downstairs. He had Tyrant stomping to do.